28 Oct 2021
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Rifles

Bio

Rifles are brothers that grew up on a chicken farm 3 hours from the nearest gas station and roughly 2 minutes from the nearest Starbucks.

To cut a long fairy tale short,

One particulary deformed brother decided to 'up sticks' and leave the remaining brothers to run the farm alone - with no more than an old hand pump and 2 bags of corn that had recently gone to seed. Bastard.

The remaining brothers, each with reasonable facial deformities of their own, discovered old rag-time records and a few post-punk 45's from bands like Mission of Burma, Gang of Four and an incredibly rare Bee Gees B-side hidden in a trunk, under the floorboards in the barn.

Thinking nothing of it, they put the records (all original pressings) back in their respective mint condition sleeves and laid them back down in the dirt to gather dust and eventually be forgotten...

UNTIL

The livelihood of the farm and Aunty Jenny's homestyle pickle threatened to go into recession, leaving the brothers desperate and mighty sad-ish. Until the youngest balding Rifle brother remembered the trunk with all its treasures and realised how they could save the farm and its 4 chickens.

Meanwhile, the mutant brother with a club foot, travelled far and wide, seeing many a splendid thing and braving many a storm'd windy place, finally settling in Welling-town which seemed really stupid at the time. On arrival he suddenly remembered he'd stupidly left his rarest records which would have fetched a good price at Slowboat on Cuba St, opposite Midnight Espresso. He went broke, booked into rehab and started a band called Rifles.

Legend has it the remaining brothers got a very reasonable price for the trunk.

To this day no one knows what happened to the Bee Gees single.

Rifles disbanded in 2012.

Band Members:
Cameron
Simon
Thomas
Benjamin
Txomin
Jackson

Links

Releases

Labels

Location

  • Wellington


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