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Sailor

Joined: 19/09/05
Posts: 2046
Location: Outside NZ
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ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Tue Mar 6, 2007 8:56 pm
Lastnight i was informed of some very sad news and to this moment am still utterly shcocked. If a lot of you remember back, there was a frequent poster by the name "Fiend" well 2 weeks ago, sadly he took his own life. He will be missed by the muzic.net crew, please use this thread to pay respect to him.

I don't mean to sound like a preacher but for everyone out there who has felt suicidal before, there are people out there who can help, i mean i know first hand what it's like to be suicidal. I was that way inclined a few years back and i thought my world could not get any better and thought i'd end it, but look 2 years down the road....i'm as happy as can be. So just remember there's ALWAYS help, even if you give ole sailor a email...i know how you feel and can help you.


 

johnsoncraigsbc

Joined: 01/11/05
Posts: 3327
Location: Outside NZ
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Wed Mar 7, 2007 9:08 am
Oh I am sorry to hear that. Crying Poor Fiend.Peace out man. Did you know Fiend personally Phil?
 

Sailor

Joined: 19/09/05
Posts: 2046
Location: Outside NZ
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Wed Mar 7, 2007 9:27 am
i talked to him once or twice on msn but that was it, but i thought i'd post this on be half of his ex-girlfriend as he was a poseter on here.
 

Tainted

Joined: 17/06/05
Posts: 816
Location: Canterbury
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Wed Mar 7, 2007 10:24 am
OH SHIT!

Heavy.

Rest in peace.

I hate it when people call it "the coward's way out".... those who say that have obviously never dealt with those feelings before.
 

clownie

Joined: 13/02/06
Posts: 876
Location: Outside NZ
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Thu Mar 8, 2007 3:09 pm
I knew Fiend personally, he was my boyfriend.

He had just started to learn the drums, and he was flying through my drum books.

It was a huge waste of such a colourful person, he will be missed dearly.
 

Tainted

Joined: 17/06/05
Posts: 816
Location: Canterbury
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Thu Mar 8, 2007 3:28 pm

Quote:

I knew Fiend personally, he was my boyfriend.

He had just started to learn the drums, and he was flying through my drum books.

It was a huge waste of such a colourful person, he will be missed dearly.


I'm genuinely sorry to hear that Sad
 

simone_ishtar

Joined: 07/09/04
Posts: 201
Location: Auckland
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Thu Mar 8, 2007 7:10 pm
That's very sad news, not so much from a perspective of knowing the guy, but just in terms of in being yet another terrible waste... My condolences Clownie Sad
Two things they say about suicide, 1. its believed talking about it generates more people doing it and I've kinda got that in the back of my mind at the moment... the other no-one ever commits suicide without dropping a hint to someone and usually exhibits indicators like a loss of interest in the things that make em passionate, becoming more withdrawn (even if they still are outwardly 'up' the people who know em well usually pick up on it, even a little), bouts of insomnia, drops in grades etc... most importantly someone committing suicide almost always tells someone they are thinking about it before doing it....
One thing I'd suggest if the word suicide ever comes up in conversation it needs to be taken very seriously, that person needs to be told people love them and whatever has got them thinking of it it is never that bad, there is always a way of making things better... they need to get professional psychological help, pshyciatric help if necessary (ie happy drugs, sending away for a while to recover, even shock treatments if necessary) Never take it lightly.... I've known too many people who have died that way to know you never brush it off if someone is talking about suicide.
Sermon over Mr Green Look after yourselves people...
 

clownie

Joined: 13/02/06
Posts: 876
Location: Outside NZ
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Thu Mar 8, 2007 8:10 pm
It's all very well to say that you should take somebody seriously if they hint at it, but what about a situation where a person threatens it all the time as a way of manipulating people.

e.g "If you leave me I'm going to kill myself", so you'll stay with them.

If you cry wolf, you'll burn bridges.
 

Sailor

Joined: 19/09/05
Posts: 2046
Location: Outside NZ
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Thu Mar 8, 2007 9:14 pm
yip, know what you mean ALL too well clownie
 

Tainted

Joined: 17/06/05
Posts: 816
Location: Canterbury
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Fri Mar 9, 2007 10:27 am

Quote:

no-one ever commits suicide without dropping a hint to someone and usually exhibits indicators like a loss of interest in the things that make em passionate, becoming more withdrawn (even if they still are outwardly 'up' the people who know em well usually pick up on it, even a little), bouts of insomnia, drops in grades etc... most importantly someone committing suicide almost always tells someone they are thinking about it before doing it....


Heh, I'm one of them... chirpy on the outside, yet often bent on the inside.

Sometimes, it's the bubbliest, outwardly happy looking people you've got to watch.
 

clownie

Joined: 13/02/06
Posts: 876
Location: Outside NZ
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Fri Mar 9, 2007 2:03 pm
After what Johnny Fiend did, I've been getting worried about a friend of mine who is OTT bubbly and really happy.

He had a bad childhood but doesn't even remember much of it coz his brain has wiped it from his memory. I only know about it because I lived next door to him when we were kids, I saw and heard what went on in his house.

He's recently lost his bubbliness and has been really down in the dumps, he says nobody has ever been there for him and stuff.

I know that suicide can sometimes brings about copycats. He knew Johnny Fiend, we all used to hang out sometimes, and I'm worried he might do it too, kinda like "He had the courage to do it and my life is shit too, why don't I do it too" or something.

Rest In Peace Johnny, I miss you heaps xxxx
 

Tainted

Joined: 17/06/05
Posts: 816
Location: Canterbury
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Fri Mar 9, 2007 3:23 pm

Quote:

After what Johnny Fiend did, I've been getting worried about a friend of mine who is OTT bubbly and really happy.

He had a bad childhood but doesn't even remember much of it coz his brain has wiped it from his memory. I only know about it because I lived next door to him when we were kids, I saw and heard what went on in his house.


Reminds me of a guy my dad works with... the most talkative and funny guy... then ended up seeking help because he was a mess on the inside. Some people over-compensate.

Also, full-on bubbly people end up that way because they're anxious all the time - it's how they deal with it.
 

MindVandal

Joined: 29/08/06
Posts: 16
Location: Wellington
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Fri Mar 9, 2007 8:19 pm
I've only just read this thread. That is sad news.

Clownie, if you're worried about your friend, and think he/she may be thinking about the same thing, you have to talk to them. You must tell them that you're worried.

I understand that that can seem like pestering or meddling, but in reality you need to at least try to see if your friend needs help.

There are A LOT of people out there who have gone through the same thing and can offer advice on how to get through the dark periods.

Life isn't always roses and chocolates, but it's how we deal with the stresses that defines who we are... and no matter how dark the tunnel seems, there's always a light at the end (I know that may sound waffley and overly optimistic, but it's the truth).

I've known people in the past who have taken their life soon after their friend had, so it is something to be concerned with.

When any sort of death occurs around you, you take stock of your own life.

I really hope you find peace with fiend's decision and can move forward with your own life.

This message was edited by MindVandal on Fri Mar 9, 2007 8:20 pm.
 

Sailor

Joined: 19/09/05
Posts: 2046
Location: Outside NZ
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 8:40 am
None of my mates knew i was suicidal, like I'd go to school every day, laugh,joke, play music and all that other stuff and when I'd get home i'd just feel down and just sit in a sombre mood. But hey, times have changed and i'm happy for real this time, I'm not faking it.
 

tidsy

Joined: 16/04/06
Posts: 997
Location: Taranaki
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 10:44 pm
.....damn....... poor bugger, neva really tawkd to him or anythin, at least maybe once but didnt get along as far as i rememba, .......bugger.......... rest in piece dude
 

clownie

Joined: 13/02/06
Posts: 876
Location: Outside NZ
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 2:34 pm

Quote:

Life isn't always roses and chocolates, but it's how we deal with the stresses that defines who we are... and no matter how dark the tunnel seems, there's always a light at the end (I know that may sound waffley and overly optimistic, but it's the truth).


Fiend didn't handle stress very well.

He had lost somebody very close to him a few weeks before he did it.

As for my friend, he's getting worse, sending me txts that say bizarre things with no explanation of what he means.

I can be there the best I can for him, but at the end of the day people need to know they have a family who loves them, friends aren't enough.

It's like I'm watching him slip and fall in slow motion.

And when I point out all his good points he manages to twist them around so they're actually bad points or so he looks like a bad person.

It's infuriating!!!
 

Sailor

Joined: 19/09/05
Posts: 2046
Location: Outside NZ
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 6:51 pm
if he starts sending txts like "i'm gonna end my life, bye" or stuff like that, the only thing i can say is phone the cops.
 

MindVandal

Joined: 29/08/06
Posts: 16
Location: Wellington
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 1:35 pm

Do your friend's parents know what you think?

I don't know if you're in a position to be able to say anything to them, but you're right about family. Maybe they have no idea about what's going on for him.
 

clownie

Joined: 13/02/06
Posts: 876
Location: Outside NZ
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 1:06 pm
No they don't know, they are the reason he is the way he is.

Some people shouldn't be allowed to breed.
 

tidsy

Joined: 16/04/06
Posts: 997
Location: Taranaki
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RE: ATTENTION: All members read please
Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 1:17 pm

Quote:

Some people shouldn't be allowed to breed

agreed

This message was edited by tidsy on Thu Mar 29, 2007 1:18 pm.
 

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