50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Sat May 7, 2005 10:45 pm

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taken from uranium music website. Have fun...

1. Tell them every metal band worships the devil.
2. Ask if all black metal bands are trying to copy KISS or just most of them.
3. Hide their joint under their library card.
4. Ask if they know of any other cool bands like Slipknot.
5. If they're listening to metal, tell them it sounds like some mainstream band. Doesn't matter who.
6. Say it's all a ripoff of Iron Butterfly anyway.
7. Ask if they've given their souls to Jesus yet.
8. Vaguely imply that you're gay and would like their company for the evening.
9. Record over their Cannibal Corpse albums with other Cannibal Corpse albums and see if they ever notice the difference.
10. Refuse to accept their fake I.D.
11. Ask how much Dio got paid for his role as Stuart Little.
12. Use the phrase "cookie monster vocals" and act like it's the funniest, most original thing you've ever come up with.
13. If they're listening to metal, tell them "These guys don't have talent. Now <insert any mainstream band here>, those guys have talent!"
14. Say "What is vinyl?"
15. Point out how stupid manowar is. If they agree, tell them the only thing more stupid is Black Sabbath with Dio.
16. Tell them it all sounds the same.
17. Admit that Cliff Burton was a dirty hippy who had already peaked musically.
18. If they say they love 80s metal, ask them what ever happened to Poison.
19. Tell them you like underground music too, like <insert the newest overhyped fashionable loud-ish band from the radio>
20. Point out that Tarja from Nightwish can't sing.
21. Insist that Emperor videos would be better if they used a dance troupe.
22. Ask if Mayhem is Marilyn Manson's band.
23. Divert their CD shipments to the local Jewish community center.
24. Write "God Loves You" on their Venom backpatch.
25. Point out that just about every genre of music has an underground with bands who have integrity, so metal really isn't that unique.
26. Post under their nickname on a power metal board and say Ray Alder ****s all over John Arch.
27. Take out the Iron Maiden disc and put in 50 Cent.
28. Give them a spiky pop-punk haircut while they sleep.
29. Pronounce "Celtic Frost" correctly.
30. If they're over 25, say that people can still rock even if they have an unplanned child or two and drive a grocery getter. Then point and laugh.
31. Tell them you're not hiring and to try the other Cinnabon down the street.
32. Sit quietly and applaud politely at a metal show.
33. Make them be sober for five whole seconds.
34. Ask if Randy Rhoads was on the same flight as John Denver.
35. Tell them Korn brought metal back to life in the 90s.
36. Turn the bass way up on their stereo.
37. Laugh at Slayer for stealing their name from the Buffy show.
38. Call Doro fat.
39. Call them on their horrible grammar and/or spelling.
40. Remind them that metal is partially derived from the blues. Then accuse them of being wiggers.
41. Use the phrase "balls in a vice" at least three times when talking about classic metal and/or power metal vocalists.
42. If it's a guy with long hair, address him as if he were female. Don't correct yourself about it.
43. Be impressed with how much RoadRunner Records has improved over the past ten years.
44. Say you love Metallica's debut, The Black Album.
45. Notice that Lemmy hasn't moved his left hand in 30 years of playing bass.
46. Refer to metal as "that kill-your-father rape-your-mother stuff."
47. Ask them if their favorite band is so good, how come nobody has ever heard of them.
48. Pine for the good old days when Pour Some Sugar On Me was a big hit.
49. Tell them you used to be a metalhead, but grew out of it when you started listening to more intellectual stuff like <insert any band at all here>
50. Post a list of "Ways To Annoy Metal Fans" knowing full well that so many of them internalize everything and can't take a joke.

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Sat May 21, 2005 9:27 pm

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haha

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Sat May 21, 2005 10:19 pm

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more assinine drivel, good on ya donkey breath.

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 6:10 pm

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Farking classic..

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 11:19 pm

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Yeah!! Sabbath with Dio, Heaven and Hell my favourite Sabbath album.

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 11:25 pm

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The best way at the moment seems to be this:

Metal = Rock

Watch them spit/curse/stomp feet.

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2005 7:49 pm

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Haha, I like this one

I can think of people to say that one to...

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2005 11:48 pm

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When they're listening to Kashmir by Led Zeppelin, say "Yeh! Puff Daddy!" (That always annoys me)

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 9:53 pm

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eww, relating Puff Daddy to metal is just plain wrong!

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Sat Oct 1, 2005 1:49 am

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haha thats quite a good list
it has some that would really get to me after a while

fuck alex webster is an amazing bassist i hope one of you know who he is but if not meh...
im tired and drunk

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 10:43 am

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fark you people are funny hahahaha i have to try that lol

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 1:55 pm

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i've seen you post this comment many times before, come up with something more original next time please. It's getting old.

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 6:26 pm

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Yea I rekon
And also my fav is 47 and 42!!!! they funny as



This message was edited by da cool cookie on Wed Apr 26, 2006 6:30 pm.

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Mon May 8, 2006 2:24 pm

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johnsoncraigsbc, will you just go away? You must've posted on every thread created, but your posts are all negative and you drone on and on. What's the matter with you? Buzz off admin-wanabe

p.s simon that post is funny

This message was edited by clownie on Mon May 8, 2006 2:28 pm.

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Mon May 8, 2006 9:24 pm

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ay clownie thats not nice dont be dissin him

u r rong about that he posts nice things.........
whats rong wit someone wanting to be an admin anyway.

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Tue May 9, 2006 5:29 pm

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<excuse me while I clear my throat>

The reason I've posted one alot of threads is because I have an opinion about almost everything, which is not a bad thing. My posts are not always negative (except for when referring to hip/hop for which I apoligize), but usually my own opinion of something, which I have full rights to do so fuck up!

my posts have a bit of back up behind it instead of some random comment with no thought or reason to it, as you seem to do. this can sometimes be a bit longer than your average post but as least it isn't like the drivvle that rolls of your tongue.

Take peoples opinions in your stride, you might learn something!

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 11:20 pm

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still laughin while readin every single one on how to annoy a metal head

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 8:36 am

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admin take thisa offensive crap off!!!!!!!!!

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 12:36 pm

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haha you a metal head or something?

RE: 50 ways to annoy a metalhead
Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 1:06 pm

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As a fan of metal I find that list absolutely hilarous