21 May 2013
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El Schlong – The Baddies Are Coming

25 Jun 2008 // A review by CEOMong
8 fairly long tracks comprise this really rather fine album, laden with toughness, for the most part lighter on the vocals than many other metallers out there. Huge sound from this Wellington-based Dunedin-raised 3 piece, cranking out some tidy and oft delicate tunes. Thrashy in places, insightful and constantly surprising, well-constructed metal. Excellent space-out or background music, I’ve listened to this album over and over quite a few times now, and every time I get something different out of it, like it’s brand new every single time. And now I can’t get Arthur out of my head.

The Baddies Are Coming – a schmaltzy lounge lizard tune, blues gax and delicate rhythm section, good ole thrash smeared on an acid riff. Cool trickiness with the lead gax, full deep basslines. Goose pimples from the mental ninja martial themes. Solid and eerie, an excellent title track. 1/3rd through really hits pace, solid speed metal with some mean tricky axe, sweet, full, environmentally rich. Mournful drums of defeat, turns into exultant patriotic revolution, the baddies, they be leaving.

BungFace – piano busts out into mean headbanging riff amid throaty vocals. Short, sharp, angry. Transforms to soft sinisterness before maturing into dominant basslines and giant kickdrums. The Room – Another headbanger amid solid dominant themes, a touch of backup vocals and choir effect. Rolls on into a 70s buzz, and right back into the red-hots. Soft sleepiness, time for another bourbon thank you my good man …

Composting – solid bodyfelt riffs and double kicks, open and casual feel. Rocks out into some mean catchy riff action. All grows dark, and burns to a solid end, and climaxes into The Cow Jumped Over The Moon – delicate fingering and tribal drums combined with foreboding thunder in the distance. Explodes to a vista, an epic spiralling heavier track on the same theme but more massive and nerve-tingling. Vocals dig in a couple minutes through, a melodic choir kind of feel and solid bass beats.

Swing Accident – expectant heavy intro, rocks out into some massive metal vocal and the continuation of the martial theme introduced earlier. Epic heavy-dropping beats and general toughness lend this track something extra. Schmaltzy, bluesy and metal, all rolled into one tasty, mellow and sharp parcel.

Arthur R Nevilleson-Robertson-Brown – arguably history’s best name for a song (or for that matter, a dude). A witty and dry observation of the daily irony, mental battles, and slipperlessness that catch us all unawares.

Harbour Cone – ahhh, memories. Rockin headbanging boot tapping short riffs. The choir joins in again for a bit, and then the best chorus yet hits you right in the melon, sweet, balanced, velvety axes smash your head open and replace your gases. Touch of the choir again, very sneaky how that’s tucked away throughout much of the album. Gives it a nice roomy feel. Some mariachi band reprise action towards the end, before rocking back into the molten metal.

The Baddies are at your door.
CEO Mong.
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About El Schlong

"Yes, our name is stupid, and no, we don’t care. A band name is a just a brand name like Cadburys or McDonalds. Our name neither effects nor reflects the music we play. It is unimportant to us."

So states guitarist/vocalist Leah Hinton.

Hinton formed El Schlong in Dunedin, New Zealand in 2003 along with fellow music student Nick Baldwin on bass. They cut their teeth and learned their craft in the city’s DIY student punk/metal scene before moving to the country’s capital in 2005.

Visit the muzic.net.nz Profile for El Schlong

Releases

Time/Place
Year: 2011
Type: Album
The Baddies Are Coming
Year: 2008
Type: Album
Loudious Deepthroatus
Year: 2005
Type: EP

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